Dear Tom Brady….


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Dear Tom,

I heard about your suspension – you have my condolences.

I would like to give you some advice that I know will help you during this tough time.

First, stop bitching and do NOT hire attorneys to bitch for you. More than likely that will upset the commissioner further and he will probably not put up with it. If you have other skeletons in your closet they will find them, so just shut the fuk up and take the suspension.

You don’t see it right now, but you have to trust me when I tell you that you making excuses for destroying your cellphone coincidentally on the day that you were going to your scheduled hearing is ridiculous. It sounds as bad as a drug user paying off his supplier to shut up before he claims his innocence.

Second, DISAPPEAR! That’s right – just get lost during your suspension and stay out of the news. This will start the process of getting people to forget you are a cheater. You have kids, right? Hang out with them for a while to pass time. You might even enjoy it.

And finally when you do come back be a complete “yes” man and say all the things people want to hear. Sign autographs, kiss babies, and be humble. You may even want to throw 5 or 6 touchdowns on your birthday week if that’s possible. that would cement your comeback and get you back in the “best ever” conversations.

Tom, if you do all this you will get back a lot of the fans and the press will be on your side again. You probably won’t make the Pro-Bowl this year but that’s OK – keep smiling and keep producing.

Good luck!!!!



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