Leaving America because of Trump? Here are some tips….


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Last night Donald Trump took a giant step towards the White House when he became the official Republican nominee for President.

That’s right; Donald Trump started yesterday going on TV to claim Ted Cruz’s father played a part in the Kennedy assassination and then ended the day becoming the official Republican nominee for President.

The ridiculousness of that last sentence I just wrote is exactly why Trump will be our next President. The man just doesn’t give a fuck when he’s on the attack. He’ll say anything and repeat it like a parrot with Tourettes Syndrome – and he won’t let up until you surrender! Hillary and Bill Clinton are about to have the worse 6 months of their lives.

The challenge Trump has is deciding what to go after because the Clinton’s have provided a wealth of ammunition over the past 5 decades! If Trump is wacky enough to accuse Cruz’s dad of killing Kennedy then he surely will bring up the mysterious death of Vincent Foster. Foster was a very good friend of the Clintons and worked closely with them as a lawyer. Long story short, Foster was supposed to testify before Congress about the Clinton’s finances but he committed suicide before the hearings. Cue Trump – “I don’t know… I mean, what was he doing committing suicide shortly before the trial…I mean c’mon where was Hillary…he was going to talk about her not him. Right?….I don’t know… It’s horrible…we have to look into that”.

Trump can then move on to sharing his stage with any one of the many women that the Clintons paid off to go away after Bill Clinton sexually took advantage of them. It’s gonna be hard for Hillary to explain why she stood by her man after the 10th or 20th time of catching him cheat. After that, Trump has a choice of many MANY other Clinton fuck ups to choose from…

The bottom line is Trump will be our next President. Personally, I think the guy is an idiot and 3 doctor visits away from a dementia diagnosis. However, my philosophies fall more in line with Republican ideologies and there is no way in hell I’m voting for Hillary. So Trump by default is my man and he will win.

Trump will win because his strategy in THIS America is flawless. Contrary to what you may feel, we aren’t all rocket scientists. There is a reason the WWE gets more than 100,000 people at their wresting events.

Trump knows this! Ever notice that Trump uses the “hot/cold” approach when he throws out a topic? He waits for the stirred up discussion to settle down, goes quiet for few days and then plays the same cycle again. People then get addicted to this cycle and they start noticing what Trump is saying. At this point Trump has you hooked and he knows that you are used to hearing politicians say a lot of things, then quickly turn around and reframe their communications. Trump does this well and can convince people that he didn’t really mean what he was saying initially. He knows that people understand how politicians non-intelligently use freedom of speech – and he also knows that people are quick to forgive indiscretions. Americans love bold leaders who can give great speeches, entertain, and use rhetoric in their engagements. Trump has a following of people who are fascinated by brute force project plans. Trump provides them carte blanche loud and brute force solutions to almost everything. Details are irrelevant – we just want to make America great again.

All that said, the reality of President Trump has the same ‘ol liberal celebrities and some new ones talking about moving out of America when he becomes president. They are all full of shit millionaires that secretly love the capitalist society we live in. They just can’t say it because they feel it’s cool to be pro-welfare. Wasn’t Alec Baldwin supposed to leave 12 years ago?

Although these idiots aren’t leaving I did put together a list of countries that they may choose to move to along with some fun-facts:

Mexico – Great climate and nice beaches. Various cities are run by drug lords so you may need to hire a small army to protect you. You also risk being kidnapped for ransom. Aside from that, bring your own water and landscapers. Mexicans do not hang out at Home Depots in Mexico.

Canada – Cold as fuck during winter. Good luck finding a job since Canada is currently swamped with immigrants competing for few opportunities. And when you find one, be prepared to be taxed heavily to support those that can’t find a job. If you get sick be prepared to get a shitty doctor and shitty service. The good doctors they had are all here now. And the very bad ones we had are now there. Aside from that, be prepared to make believe you care about hockey and pay twice as much for lap dances.

Russia – Vladimir Putin will welcome you with open arms….IF you promise to never ever speak badly of him and the country AND if you’re not gay. If you’re caught doing either you will be charged for something that you can’t beat or mysteriously die. Also, bring a lifetime’s worth of extra money to pay off corrupt police and politicians randomly.

France – Paris smells bad. As an American you are not welcomed so you must make believe you’re Canadian. Better learn how to speak French because people are not going to speak English to you as a courtesy. The country has large neighborhoods that are exclusively occupied by terrorists or terrorists in training – so make sure to hire a good realtor.

Italy– Fuggedaboutit.

Greece – Greece can’t be that great because every Greek I ever met claims to own an island there but yet they all live here. Besides that, they don’t have an economy.

Brazil – If viruses are your thing – you found a home. AIDS, Zika, and polluted water await you.

Turkey– So you’re leaving America and going to Turkey because of Trump? Well here’s a video of Turkey’s congress in session which can easily be confused with WrestleMania…

If i missed a country you’re interested in, let me know and i’ll find a way to remind you that you are living in the greatest country ever!!!!!

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