The Top 7 A-holes I commute with.


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Monday’s suck!! After a couple days off some of us have to jump back into the rat race to get to our offices. Truth be told, I love my job. I have the occasional bad days but overall it’s a great gig. However, the one thing I hate immensely is the commute!! Keeping that in mind, I’ve put together a list of the 7 most annoying assholes I come across daily. If you’re not a commuter into Manhattan you may not relate but I’m sure those that do have come across these morons….

ASSHOLE # 7. Every idiot who wears a back pack in crowded places. Common sense says take it off to create more space but unfortunately these people always think they are in the middle of climbing Mount Everest or something…

ASSHOLE # 6. The loudmouth who talks loudly on his or her phone as if he or she were a teenager who just got their first cell phone. Why the fuck do you think it’s OK to speak loudly on your phone? Take a second to imagine the chaos if everyone else on the train had the same inconsiderate selfish manners you have. People like me should start passing out cards like this one….

ASSHOLE # 5. The asshole that has his BEATS headphones on blast and forces everyone to hear his crappy music. Might as well carry a boombox like they did in the 80’s…

ASSHOLE # 4. The jerkoff who walks down crowded NYC streets during rush hour with a beach umbrella as soon as it drizzles. Now how inconsiderate is that?! This clown got a golf umbrella for Christmas and now thinks his goal in life is to never let one fucking drop of rain land on his person…

ASSHOLE # 3. The assholes that squeeze into the 3 seaters instead of standing! These fucking trains were made in China by midgets and although it looks like 3 seats they are actually 2 comfy ones and a seat for bags or newspapers in between. I’m a big guy so I wouldn’t even think of squeezing into these “3 seaters” but unfortunately others don’t feel the same way. Commuting shouldn’t force strangers to rub thighs with one another!

ASSHOLE # 2. The NJ Transit ushers with that annoying fucking key puncher that they have to click a million times while checking tickets. I am yet to ever see them come across someone who doesn’t have a ticket, so do we really need these people? How about you ax these idiots and lower the ridiculously high ticket prices…

ASSHOLE # 1. The lazy able-bodied assholes that choose to stand on escalators while people are rushing to catch their trains. It’s called RUSH HOUR for a reason asshole!! This especially applies in Secaucus and Penn Station where certain tracks only have escalators as an option. Seriously, walk you lazy fuck!! Even if it’s slowly show some fucking effort. One person has been known to cause many to miss their trains by a minute because they selfishly refused to burn one fucking calorie!

rushhour escalator

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